Why Did I Trust You?

Why did I trust you, o, bagel toaster?

Why did I let you heat up my snack?

All I asked for was a slightly crispy treat.

Instead, you mock me and char my meal to a cracker thin crisp.

There will be no bagel phoenix rising from my bagel ashes.

There will be no salvation for my food condemned to Hell.

I asked for a golden, honeyed brown.

You gave me firewood instead, and turned my smile upside down.

This layer of cream cheese barely masks the flavor of your prank.

I can taste forever the cancer you seared on my plate.

There will be no next time, demon bagel toaster from Hell.

I will never again fall prey to your heinous misdeeds.

Prepare to meet your maker, ogre spawn from the murky below.

Where once you had a friend in me, now I am your darkest foe.