Last night my friends celebrated my twenty-third birthday with me. We had some great food, some cake, a few beers...it was a great night. Seeing my friends around me made me feel safe, comfortable, and well cared for. The night before, my family called to sing "Happy Birthday" and tell me how much they loved me. Even with nine hours of driving time between us, they didn't forget to call me on my birthday.
During the last few years, it seemed that I had gotten myself into a pattern where nothing went well for me. Money has been an issue for my family for as long as I can remember. Stress seems to have been with us for even longer. Trial after trial after trial, and still, it seemed that my life was only going downhill.
Last year I remember talking to my adviser in college, telling her that I couldn't remember the last time I was happy. It was a particularly trying year for me. I wasn't doing well in classes, and I had gotten to a point where I cared less how the year ended. Most likely it wasn't going to be good.
It's funny how flawed our logic can be under hard times. In my mind, all my problems were connected to people and places that I knew. The obvious solution was to go somewhere where I didn't know anyone. Looking back I can see that it was stupid of me, but at the time it made sense. I moved to Ames, Iowa, to see what I could do to repair my life.
Ames proved to be a bad idea. I was penniless and friendless in a town of over fifty thousand people. It did not matter how or where I looked for work; nobody seemed to want me. I stayed there for at least two months, searching for work, trying to survive. I chose some days to stay home and do nothing, my reasoning being that if I didn't exert my body, I wouldn't be hungry, making my food supply last that much longer. My friends from college kept trying to get me to leave Ames and come live with them. I refused. I even missed my friend's wedding so I could continue job searching. I needed to prove to myself that I could live on my own. If I could live on my own, I wouldn't have to worry about other people bringing me down with them. Eventually, my time ran out. I was out of money and could no longer afford to pay the rent for my apartment. I was lonely, poor, hungry, and I needed help.
Out of nowhere, things got better. My buddies came to Ames to grab my things and take me with them to the house they were sharing in Sioux Center, the town I had tried to leave. Almost instantly, I got my old job at the restaurant back. I was making money. I was eating regularly. My life was turning right side up. It was clear that things were only going to improve.
So as I sat there, surrounded by friends, at my twenty-third birthday party, I contemplated the rarity of being able to live with people who want you to succeed. How often do you find smiles that aren't superficial, but filled with care? How many people have functional families that, even through the stress of living on the edge of poverty, takes the time to call them to tell them they are loved? There are very few precious moments in our lives and we would be fools to take them for granted. How could I dare look at my life and complain about how badly I was living? Even at work, I can tell that my coworkers want me to do well. I'm not just some person they work with. I'm part of their family. How many people get to have more than one really awesome family?
Contemplating through the buzz of conversation (and the buzz from the beer) I couldn't help but smile inwardly. I had tried so hard to make it on my own, only to fail miserably. Being rescued by my friends and family taught me that there is no shame in needing to have people who know you can depend on.
As the night was finishing, I got a text message from a dear friend which read, "Go outside your front door ASAP and look down." I walked outside to find a single vanilla custard cone sitting on the deck in front of the door. As I ate the most delicious cone I've ever eaten, I realized...I live a charmed life.
I laughed, I cried. It moved me, Bob.
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