Your Worst Enemy...Is YOU!!!

Almost everyone has a time in life when he/she goes through a process where they realize they aren't who they should/want to be. This leads to varying degrees of identity crises, during which the individual goes through personal transformation. What does he/she hope to accomplish through this metamorphosis? Generally, self fulfillment.

Self fulfillment can mean a lot of things, but the best way to explain it is that it's when someone (let's aka this someone as Keith) feels satisfied with who he is. This often means that Keith will either change until people think he's socially acceptable. Or Keith will just decide he doesn't really care what other people think. Actually, the "I don't care what people think" stance is sort of weird because most people that "don't care what people think" are people who want to be seen by others as the people who "don't care what people think," which mean that they actually do care what people think because they want to be viewed a certain way by society. That was quite a mouthful. And that's what she said.

But seriously, how many of you have not been through this stage? If you haven't, you probably will at some point in your life. Take me for example: I'm a single, sexy, bachelor on the prowl. But right now I'm a bit self conscious of a certain protrusion (mah belleh!) that I keep trying to hide when I meet people. Did you not get the "mah belleh" reference? One sec....

Yeah...if you haven't guessed, the protrusion I spoke of is mah gutsikinz, my tub of happiness, my frontal camel hump, my "wiggle him and see him jiggle", the place where my food goes. If you still don't know what I'm talking about you must have been dropped as a kid...a lot. Anyway, let's not focus on my belly.

So I decided that my identity crisis and my fat-vat are connected! The way I see it, when the gut of doom goes, so does the lack of self confidence. Also, then I'd be hawt. So what am I doing about this revelation of mine? Well, one of my challenges for this year is to develop a habit for exercise; I started a twenty-three day long trial, one day for every year of my life. The challenge is to get myself to go running every day (except for the days when I let my muscles recuperate...or when I decide to stay up blogging....) at 2 A.M. Why at 2 A.M.? Well, that's when all the people in town are asleep. People sleeping means fewer (if any) eye witnesses to the bobbing mass that's thudding passed their house. Also, I'm up that late every day anyway, so, might as well.

What do I hope to accomplish after my challenge is complete? Hopefully the habit will stick and the twenty-three days will turn into something I feel uncomfortable not doing. I get to a point where I want to be able to parade my body in front of those who care to look. Oh, and I'll be healthier to. Minor detail.

Another side affect of completing this challenge could be that I start to pick up other healthier habits. This way one good thing leads to another and eventually I'm that guy that every girl wants.

Man. I really seem to be hung up on this people thinking I'm attractive thing....which is understandable, because, I am attractive...somewhere...I'm sure of it...

You know about snowballs, yeah? You're at the top of a hill, get a little ball of snow, roll it down, it gets bigger and heavier and rounder. Well, that's what I want to do with good habits, except bigger and rounder and heavier is something I don't really need for myself right now. But that's what this challenge is supposed to accomplish. Completing this challenge will lead to my eventual self fulfillment. I'm sure there's a proverb somewhere concerning habit building: "Shake it 'til you break it" or "If you poke it long enough it eventually caves" or "yay! that there pile's bigger than it used to be" or something like that. I don't know. I shouldn't be awake right now.

But in what way have you gone through an identity crisis? What did you do/are you doing to reach that state of self fulfillment?