She's The One For Me

Last week I visited my family in Chicago. We had a jolly good time talking, reminiscing, etc. During one of my conversations with my mom, the question came up: What is your type of girl?

Honestly, I really have to think hard about this one. I dated an amazing girl for five years or so, but it ended up not working out, and that's okay. It's better to have loved and lost than to stop loving someone you end up living with forever.

In many ways, I don't think this post will do my future woman justice. It's hard to know everything about someone you're interested in. There are so many variables that can make or break a relationship. I hate trying to rationalize these kinds of things because love, after all, is not rational. Even if the person of interest matches your criteria for "Future Mr./Mrs. Me," you might find out that what you think you wanted in a person is not actually what you really wanted. A little confusing, but, c'est la vie (French for: it's life). On the other hand, he/she may be the complete opposite of what you were hoping for, and somehow you end up falling in love. That's how it is with my parents. They're both so different from each other, but they seem to love each other. I mean, they did have four kids together and are still happily married. Maybe they're happily married because they needed each other to survive the holocaust that is having four kids like my siblings and me...

However, if you were to point a gun to my head and force me to describe the girl I want for me, I suppose I would give it my best shot. So here goes. You're not holding a gun to my head, but for your sake, I'm pretending that you are. Not sure where this is going so I'll get back on track.

I really could do a better job of showing this, but my faith is very important to me. It seems cliché, but there's a reason so many couples need a common faith to keep them together. Faith means to believe with conviction in something you can't grasp physically. If you have faith, you're going to have values and morals that support what you believe. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone, we had better share the same values or we will never see eye to eye.

Obviously, beauty is a factor. But this doesn't mean I hope she looks like a model. Please feed yourself, future Mrs. Me! I've always felt that a person is as beautiful as they feel. My type of girl would feel confident in her own appearance. I know everyone has things about themselves they don't like, but this goes beyond thinking you look perfect. Carry yourself with pride in who you are! So you have a pimple on your nose, or freckles on your skin, so what! You were made in the semblance of someone bigger and more beautiful than life. In other words, you were made beautiful. The more confident you are in that little fact, the more beautiful you are to those around you.

My kind of girl would acknowledge that you can't get everything you want, but would still not be afraid to dream. More importantly she would not be afraid to try to make her dream a reality. We live in hard times. Having something to work for gives you direction and purpose. It motivates you and shapes the way you live your life. Also, then your life will be more like a graceful antelope and less like a limp noodle. Not sure where that was going so I'll get back on track.

Love offers a lot of happiness, but also an equal amount of hardships. Sometimes you need to give something up for the person you love. My girl would understand the importance of sacrifice. How can you say you truly love someone if you aren't willing to give up something that's better for you for something that's better for both of you? Obviously, individuals in a relationship are important. But the awesome thing about love is that it needs to grow beyond the self of each person involved for it to work. There are different levels of sacrifice, but someone who truly loves you will be happy with the sacrifice no matter how big or small. You can't buy that kind of companionship.

I want to be respected. I want to be respected as person. I want to be respected as a man. I don't feel like this needs explaining.

I want her to think I'm funny! If I can't make her laugh, how will I ever know if she's happy? Also, nobody likes to laugh alone, unless you're that loser weirdo who actually does like to laugh alone....I do sometimes....It would be nice if she thinks my sense of humor is actually funny, and not so stupid that she gives me pity laughs for trying so hard. I would like her laughs to be genuine. Which leads me to my next point.

I would like her to be genuine. If you have a problem with the way I do something, tell me! If you love the way I do something, please tell me! I don't want you to have to fake having fun. Why make yourself suffer that way? The most awesome girls are the ones that don't hide behind the person they think everyone will like. That's right. I'm saying if you're not yourself, you are unawesome. I might even go as far as saying if you're not yourself, you're a smelly fish turd. You don't want to be that do  you?

I realize I've been switching between second and third person for my direct object. Just bare with me. Up yours, otherwise.

Please be supportive. It can be difficult to keep the love flames burning if only one person is doing the supporting. I don't feel like this needs explaining.

Have an open mind. The hardest kind of girl to love is the one that is always right. Okay, I know girls are actually always right, but throw me a bone here. If I have an idea that I think might be cool, don't shoot me down. I guess if you really really really don't want to me to follow through with it you could say something like, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" or something that isn't really aggressive. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Yeah, you're right. You're always right. Forget I said anything.

I shouldn't have to say this, but love should obviously be a factor. I'm not going to go into detail here. I just wanted to say it so you would know I actually think this is important. I guess if you really want my take on what love entails, write it in a comment below or text me or whatever.

I feel like the list could go on, but like I said, I don't like to rationalize this kind of thing. I might meet her and find out I love her even though she's a complete...well...she might be reading this, so I'll stop while I'm ahead. No reason to have marital strife before the marital part has become reality.

And Mom, sorry I didn't tell you this when we were talking about it. Actually, the two days after you asked me this question, I spent a lot of it thinking and mulling this question over in my head.

I hope this has given everyone a satisfactory inside look into what I think my kind of girl is. If not...well...not much I can do for you...

Seraph (Prologue)

I have finally made some headway with my fantasy story. The title of the story is Seraph. The following is still a rough draft (actually, it's my first draft), but I thought it was clean enough to give you all a sneak peek.

Seraph: Prologue

                Long ago, when Time had not yet been born, there was Erhu. Erhu lived alone in Eternum. Time and Space, Life and Death, none of them was yet in existence. Erhu began to grow lonely, so he created four beings to live with him fill the void of his loneliness, thus becoming the First Creator.

                First he created Expansum, or Space, in our tongue. Upon Expansum he entrusted the task of creating a world that was pleasing to him. And so, the world of Effendrim was born. Expansum forged mighty mountains and rolling rivers, lush valleys and arid deserts, cool ponds and vast oceans, and Erhu was very pleased.

                Second, Kronnus, or Time, was born. Upon Kronnus was entrusted the task of recording and organizing the events proceeding creation. Every action, physical and ethereal, was written down by Kronnus in the Scroll of Time.

                Third came Zivo, Life. Zivo’s task was to create living beings to populate the world of Effendrim. Everything that now draws breath was created by Zivo.

                Among the creatures created by Zivo was humankind, the most precious to Erhu. Of all Zivo’s creatures, man was the one that closest resembled the First Creator. Erhu bestowed upon them riches and gifts, and they grew to love him dearly. But Zivo had made man’s heart weak, and blackness soon began to grow, filling minds with greed and jealousy. Erhu’s gifts had ultimately made man scorn beautiful Effendrim and lust after the power the creators possessed. An army was raised to strike Erhu and his three children from Eternum and seize their seats of power. In man’s repeated and relentless attempts to breach the Heavens, Effendrim was ravaged by fire and destruction. Erhu grieved deeply for the ruined beauty of Effendrim, and more so for the corrupted hearts of mankind.

                And so, Nekros, Death, was created. So grieved by was Erhu by man that he gave Nekros the task of bringing all life to an end after a time. Every man was given a brief moment of life to mend the wounds caused in Effendrim. At the end, Nekros would come for their souls.

                The sentence of Death led many of the first humans to repent and strive to make amends. But many also remained who hated Erhu and his now repentant followers. Their loyalties divided, two factions were formed. Those loyal to Erhu became the empire of Orda. Those who still hated became the kingdom of Eris. Eris and Orda have been in an endless war since then, Orda, defending Erhu and those loyal to him, and Eris, still attempting to slaughter their way to Eternum and wrest Erhu’s power by force.

                For four thousand years Orda and Eris have been fighting. The death toll increases daily, as does Nekros' soul harvest. 

And there you have it! The first draft of any complete thought for the fantasy short story (but I think it won't actually be THAT short).

Please feel free to leave comments or suggestions in the section below. :)

The Elusive Sandman

It's hard to say when he left the room. I would say he was never there in the first place, but the little piles of sand prove otherwise. The only thing I can say for sure is that it's 5:15 a.m. right now and I'm not asleep. Could it be that I'm distressed because he left little dumps of dirt all over my floor? Maybe I'm upset because he was creepin' in my room while I tried to sleep. In any case, I'm awake, and it's his fault.


Seriously, man. You've been doing this job for at least three hundred years. Maybe age is finally catching up to you? I mean, I suppose lugging around an eternally heavy bag of sand from room to room can get tiring, but you're not even human. You should be able to do this without getting tired or sloppy. I work at a place where the customer is always a priority. I know I don't pay you for gunking up the corners of my eyes with sleepy powder, but I still should be your top priority, especially if you're gonna be creepin' in my digs!


You know what happens when I can't sleep? My mind wanders. You name the fantastical place, my mind has been there. I've seen three horned unicorns (yes, I know, that would technically make it a tricorn, but in my mind it made sense), gumdrop waterfalls, pickle orchards, talking mushrooms, poor leprechauns, rich beggars, trees with teeth, trees with wings, trees with girlfriends...the list literally goes on forever. Now whenever I try to sleep I'm terrified. I'm beginning to think I might not be as sane as I was hoping.


I don't know, I guess I should be thankful that you put sand in my eyes and not in my pants. Waking up with dirt in your crack doesn't sound pleasant. Speaking of cracks, all that dirt that you spilled on your way in/out of my room, it doesn't fall between the floor boards. You could at least sweep it under the rug or something.


Ugh, now that I'm actually trying to be creative I feel you creepin'. My eyelids are getting heavier as we speak. You sneaky, sneaky villain! You don't let me sleep when I want to, you don't let me stay awake long enough to try to be creative.


OKAY! FINE! You win. I'm going to bed. But I'd better fall asleep dang near right away or there will be dunes of pain coming your way. I'm not sure how to catch a sandman, but I'm guessing you really wouldn't like a glass of water dumped into your sandbag.


You've been warned, Sandman. I sleep, or your precious sleepy sand gets the precious wakey water.

Unleash the Storm!

It has been tornado junction in this part of the Midwest. Two days in a row we've had tornado warnings/sightings/etc. Now, I've never actually seen a tornado in real life before, so this had me pretty excited. Not "excited," as in, you're going to DisneyWorld, yay, you're so excited. I mean "excited," as in, oh my gosh I just got a text message maybe I do have friends I'm so excited!...It's going to be really awkward if I find out that I'm the only one that gets that excited over a text message...


Anyway, I decided that I'm going to quit my job at the restaurant. I've decided to become a storm chaser! Have you ever watched that show on Discovery Channel? I think it was called "Storm Chasers" or something...but in this show, they drive up to a random pavement, drop some cone thingy with camera jiggers in it, and drive away. The little cameras then record rubble (that's right.....rubble. "Rubble," as in, little pieces of dirt and pebbles and poop) as it flies around the cone. Among other things, this gives the storm chasers how fast the wind spins around/inside a tornado.


That's what I want to do. Well, I don't want to stop driving and leave the comfort of my seat. And...I don't want to carry a heavy surveillance device that would slow me down when I need to be uber fast so I don't get blown to death by a tornado. Also, I don't really care how fast the tornado is spinning, I just want to chase it. So, I guess there's really only one thing I want to do from that Discovery Channel show.


First thing I need to do, is get some wheels. I don't think my friends would appreciate getting tornado poop all over their car. So, I guess I'm going to need some money. I guess that means I can't quit my job.


Oh well, I tried. A cool dream has come and gone. I can't wait to find out what the next one will be!